Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The Closing Chapter.

This is the last of the "Texas times" blog.

Texas, thank you for making me stronger through testing every fiber of my being.
People of Texas, thank you for being kind, warm, open minded, accepting and deeply unpretentious.
San Antonio: thank you for Yoga Yoga teacher training. It has given me a purpose and a safe place when nothing else was certain and when darkness surrounded me, you have given me light. The people I met are forever became intertwined in the fabric of my life. The biggest gift that family given me is the joy of seeing those people grow, break down and light up and help each other know how HUMAN we all are. For allowing safety, love and sense of belonging to be present in our group every class. For breaking down fears and encouraging our spirits to grow. For giving me a glimpse of what is to come. For giving me faith.

Texas, thank you for the road trip my dad and I took on the way back to California. It is the single most important life event between my father and I, where we have had a chance to connect, to fight, to reconnect again and experience the joy of spending time together and getting to know each other closer then ever before. With my car literally filled up to the roof, we both were crammed into a small space for about 7 days. I am eternally grateful for that experience of forced physical and emotional closeness that helped us both realize just how important we are to each other, how bad we want to know one another and what a gift that is to have an opportunity to share experiences, thoughts, feelings, excitement and concerns and not to be afraid of judgement.

I am back in San Diego now. Things to face ahead are challenging to put it mildly. Upon return i have already managed to sabotage something so incredibly dear to me. I will once again try to rebuild what i have destroyed. I am not sure it will work this time. I am not giving up though. Love is strong. I have to hope. I have to...

I feel that this is a critical time. For everything. Today is the first day of my entire life.

I love deeply. I made mistakes. I am guilty. I love deeply, one love.

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