Wednesday, May 1, 2013


From April 5th, 2013

A  dose of challenge today...
A sprinkle of disappointment...
A slice of joy...
A wedge of confusion...
A shred of impatience...

This is the main course for tonight.

It is a difficult realization that I was ungrateful. But a welcome one. I sat next to a woman in the navy today, on my flight back to CC. Her eyes were glowing and she was fidgeting with impatience to land in Corpus already. She is relieved for a month. Her husband and her family just received the news and are cooking, organizing family time and most importantly, burning with anticipation of her arrival just like she is. Sgt. Gonzales. She is every bit lovely, shy, sweet, young, excited and genuine. She picked me to share her story with. She got married the 13th of February, this year. Left for boot camp next month. She is so in love. She could not wait to get off the plain, and i was a little envious that she had someone meet her here. This brought sweet memories of my arrival in Moscow. How my mom always meets me with flowers. How i see my friends' faces out of a crowd as i descend down the escalator. The ungrateful part comes from me not wanting to be where I am. Not savoring the moment and not being present....And then i get a reminder....I walk into "Bleu Bistro" and Heime, a cheerful waiter with resonating voice yells "N!" across the room. I sit down and instantly feel welcome. It is strange. People are so warm here. I have only dined in this place a hand full of times, but he remembered my name and it was welcoming. That is all i needed from the trip.

My cat, a white, furry hero in disguise, tolerated the trip with a stamina of a work horse. He didn't even utter a weak "meou" he just took it like a man...There was a standing ovation for him when we landed.

Oh...I am in love again.
Melissa, Paul and Becky...People i have seen last as a 12 year old girl...It was like finding long lost family all over again and bathing in the joy, happiness, pride, feeling of incredible luck and gratefulness for reuniting. It felt so natural, just as if I left a month ago and came back...and we just carried on a conversation like we never parted. a balance.
Paul and his beautiful wive Becky met me at an Ethiopian restaurant after waiting for my arrival for about 30 minutes. I walked in, i wasnt nervous at all i was just really sorry for my tardiness:) I apologized, they made me feel like they just got here too. Here they were. Paul has not changed, just grew a beard. Becky, giant soft brown eyes. I hugged them, sat down and the rest was effortless. Every theme we touched upon, i found soul mates in both of them. I found listeners, friends, family, who experienced similar journey and struggles along the way. Easy it was, like breathing.
The next day i went to see them in Birmingham. Melissa arrived, i was nervous, i was so excited! She hasn't changed either, she hugged me like a mom does, like she use to when i was 12. I fell right into her embrace and bathed in it for a minute or maybe 10. Warmth and a wonderful sense of familiarity is what i felt in the presence of them. I can write about them for days. I shall.

Sarah and Tess:
Coffee Shop.
A good coffee shop is a must of any new city explorer. Copper Coin Coffee is just the place. Right next to Ember Yoga, a space i owe my spiritual come  back and sanity to. Jeff, the owner, a physicist by training, a Yogi by heart and his wife Margaret designed a perfection of a studio, but I will spare the details for later.

Sarah and Tess: College students, Environmentalist and a Cook. Beautiful, so different from each other. Tess, more reserved, softer; Sarah- vibrant, fast..both so kind, genuine, open.
I was sitting, late night, studying a little. Tess came up and brought me a spread of avocado, hummus, pita bread and cheese..."This is for you" - she said. "Because you are our favorite, just don't tell anyone". I felt home again. This is a reoccurring theme for me. The need to come home. And the realization, that i find it everywhere i go. With people like this and the kindest things they do.

A victory. A victory for personal development. There is this PA at my work. I walk in. She is fast, beautiful, very bright, full of herself. I am intimidated. I come up and attempt in a quiet voice to impose some "demands" for anesthesia so that my waveforms are readable. After i state that i would like to run my tests "CONTINUOUSLY" , she asks "CONTINUOUSLY" or "CONTINUALLY"...I blush like crazy and pick the first one i know. I retrieve to my domain in the corner of operating theater and feverishly search google for the definition of both. I realize that Continuously, as i sort of a continuation with no interruptions, where continually means "with interruptions". I gather my confidence and I tell the PA that i would like to CONTINUOUSLY if it is possible on her end to sustain the anesthesia, but i will be willing to run it CONTINUALLY if it is easier for her. While saying all that, i blush inexplicably again and couple of sweat drops form on my forehead. She looks at me with surprise and a certain sense of well...respect! She smiles with her eyes (i cant see the rest over the mask), tells me that "she is happy to do either one" and from that point on we become very chatty on regular bases whenever we work together! Pretty proud actually, she turns out to be very sweet, extremely good at what she does, fast, and kind. Point of the story...go deeper, beyond insecurity...may win some:)

Now Ember Yoga studio:
What a treat it was to find this place of safety, strong practice, kind hearts, and absolute immersion in the love of yoga. The first thing i goggled when i got to Atlanta was "yoga studio" of course. Thankfully, Ember was the one to pop up. I went there the next day and felt at home. I met Margaret, the owner and designer of the studio as i walked through the doors. She greeted me and even thought i was late , she said it would be OK for me to join the session. The practice was led by Jeff, the owner and as i mentioned before, physicist Yogi. Needless to say i returned every day from then on. They knew my name the second time i stepped in. Variety of classes, hot, deep stretch, relaxation, meditation, yin, 108 sun salutations (with glow in the dark paint and black lights!!), everything to stretch the body, mind and soul. The space itself is completely reflective of the beautiful people who designed and work in there. Large, bright rooms with high ceilings, hardwood floors, stone lined showers. GIANT WINDOWS. As you step inside the meditation begins. I am grateful for finding this space and for developing my practice here. I was honestly transformed. I came out of the month of daily visits with strength within i wasn't aware of, my Asanas became firmer, my mind more focused and i can do things i could not before. Namaste Ember. I will be back.